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Joke of the Day

"They say shoe size correlates with penis size... ...which makes getting raped by a clown that much more terrifying."

"I didn't get far in Mario. I thought the guy floating on the cloud was God so I just accepted it when he threw shit at me"

"A fireman's pole is a stripper's pole that takes you places."

"They should make a Minecraft movie It would be a blockbuster."

"What did Bill say to Hillary after sex? ""I'll be home in 20 minutes."""

"How are men like fuses? Once they're blown, they're useless."

"I once shot a deer in my pajamas... How it got in my pajamas, I will never know."

"Yo momma is so fat that she was sorted into the House of Pancakes"

"Asterisks are awesome. *tosses a midget dressed in sexy maid outfit off the Eiffel Tower with parachute made of pancakes*"

"Once I've repeated what I said for the third time, I have to tell my dark family secret: I come from a long line of mumblers."