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Joke of the Day

"What do you call pickled bread? Dill Dough"

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"What do you call an STD for homeless people? Hermit Crabs"
"I wish I loved anything as much as middle aged white women love sharing pictures of words written in sand."
"How many vampires does it take to open the Curtain on Daylight? Just one with depression."
"I'm developing an app that makes a cricket sound effect at the end of my coworkers' stories."
"What happens when you put Nutella on salmon? You get salmonella"
"Macklemore was pretty far ahead of me in terms of self-awareness. When I was in the third grade I literally thought I might be a thundercat."
"Math problem: Q: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? A: Diabetes. John has diabetes."
"Chuck Norris drives a solar powered car at night."
"A feminist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... and I only know this because they won't shut the fuck up about it."