41386

Joke of the Day

"If Willy Wonka manufactured anything other than candy that movie would just be a dark tale of a negligent factory owner murdering children."

"Who wrote ""The Open Kimono""? ""? Seymour Hare."

"Wait, so pooping on the entire rim of a toilet, closing the seat over it, and calling it a ""Devil's Oreo"" ISN'T a thing?"

"So Microsoft bought skype for millions of dollars Idiots didn't know skype's free."

"How did the steak chef at the courthouse like his paycheck? In legal tender"

"What do you call a rich brown person driving an Audi? A Saudi"

"I know they say faith.. I know they say faith can move mountains but we have all seen what it can do to skyscrapers."

"Who are the 3 most famous black women? 1. Oprah 2. Aunt Jamima 3. Motha Fucka"

"One time John Waters spilled water on me and my mom said ""thank god his name isn't John Barbecue Sauce!"""

"[phone call with ex] Me: you want to hang out tonight? Ex: sure. When & where? Me: no, we're not going. It's enough just to know you would."