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Joke of the Day

"The Five Stages of Christmas Shopping Grief: - denial - anger - strong language - moderate violence - a lifetime ban from Toys R Us"

"What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a lawyer? Some adults like lawyers."

"How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement."

"Why are dentists usually always male? Because they like to be in other peoples mouths."

"Did you see the movie invisible? I couldn't"

"A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.. ""You mean a martini?"" the bartender asks. The Roman replies, ""If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"""

"After interviewing a candidate for an open position, I got an email stating, "" It was a pressure meeting you"""

"A second Limerick There was a young man from Nantucket, With a dick so long he could suck it, As he wiped of his chin, He said with a grin, If my ear were a cunt I would fuck it"

"Why do dentists only want to be awarded with paper certificates? They hate plaque buildup."

"Somewhere out there, a man named Private Number is sobbing uncontrollably because no one ever takes his phone calls."