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Joke of the Day

"A second Limerick There was a young man from Nantucket, With a dick so long he could suck it, As he wiped of his chin, He said with a grin, If my ear were a cunt I would fuck it"

"I can control what you do next in life. Made you click."

"My friend told me that he was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I bought him a snickers"

"What do you call 6.022*10^23 butts? Molasses"

"How do you make an archaeologist blush? [repost for spelling] You hand him a dirty tampon and ask him what period it's from!"

"That awkward moment when your friends are singing ""happy birthday to you"" and you don't know where to look."

"when fruit talks Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree. Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella. Walnut: I look exactly like a brain. Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?"

"""Please stop being mean"" - Me 3 seconds in to a rap battle"

"If you dropped two noodles on the floor, they would probably resemble my name more than my signature does..."

"What do the wage gap and the story of Hercules have in common? They're both myths. EDIT: spelling"