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Joke of the Day

"I dropped my phone in the toilet, so I put it in a bowl of rice, and waited for the Asians to come and fix it."

"Went for a 4 mile run this morning. Now everything hurts... even my eyelashes."

"Lone Child My friend showed this joke to me and I had to post it on Reddit ""I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister."""

"Gin is the Ionian mode of liquors... it will always resolve with tonic."

"The most annoying thing about being a necrophiliac... Is that your girlfriend never returns your calls."

"What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? Nothing. They never met."

"Men don't know what it's like to give birth but women don't know what it's like to have children you may not be aware of. Let's call it even"

"What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool ? She had mittens !"

"ShittyJokeExplainBot walked into a bar. He didn't order anything. Wait for it..."

"The day you can post smells on the Internet will be the worst/best day ever"