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Joke of the Day

"I have sex daily. I mean, dyslexia! Fcuk"

"I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night... ...the handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket."

"I love Halloween. Its the only time I can wear my KKK outfit and get away with it."

"Getting mail addressed to ""Current Resident"" is the sales equivalent of a guy group texting ""You free tonight?"" to every girl in his phone."

"*sees happy person* Can u stop that"

"Homeless man: Change please Me: sorry dude I don't have any money on me Homeless man: No, change...That outfit is hideous"

"[Robot Uprising] Human: Oh no a robot! What kind are you? Robot: I am a counting machine Human: Oh thank g Robot: Now killing human #53822"

"[uses the restroom] Wife: make sure to put the toilet seat down Me: okay Me: [to toilet seat] you're worthless and nobody likes you"

"Why was Jack scared? Because Jack was bean stalked"

"Did you hear the one about the Irish boomerang ? It doesn't come back .............. it just sings about how much it wants to."