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Joke of the Day

"The most sexist joke you've ever heard. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; give a man a vagina and you feed her for a lifetime."

"""Sure, you could bury it but hear me out."" Taxidermy is invented."

"There is a U.N group set up to help those who're bisexual... B-I-N.G.O!"

"Standing behind a hot guy on a treadmill saying 'don't worry baby, I'll catch you if you fall' makes him run for a really really long time"

"Googling your symptoms when you don't feel well is the most efficient way to convince yourself you're dying."

"If really good-looking people are ""eye candy"" I guess that puts me somewhere around the ""eye broccoli"" category."

"I still call my dad ""Master"" out in public so that people stare and feel bad for me."

"The hardest part about having a beard Washing the smell of pussy out of it everyday."

"I think if I was a lifeguard I would just talk shit through my megaphone. ""WHAT WERE YOU THINKING... WHO WEARS CARGO SHORTS TO THE POOL."""

"How does a WWE wrestler like his eggs? Raw"