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Joke of the Day

"Yeah, you like getting choked don't you!? oops wrong sub..."

"I'm really sick of making my dog a birthday cake every 52 days."

"I hate it when you're about to sacrifice a baby, and you notice one of the other satanists is wearing the same robes."

"Standing in disbelief at an automated door that isn't opening for me is the closest I'll ever feel to having been born rich."

"Before Batgirl can become Batwoman she has to have a Batmitzvah."

"What does the south call friends with benefits? Cousins....."

"-1 23 It was delicious."

"What's the difference between Jeb Bush and my toilet? My toilet is still running."

"If someone steals my lunch from the fridge at work, I get on the office PA system and do the Liam Neeson speech from Taken."

"Why are Japanese people so good at judo? You can't ippon a Nippon."