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Joke of the Day

"If someone steals my lunch from the fridge at work, I get on the office PA system and do the Liam Neeson speech from Taken."

"Knock knock. Who's there? The Jews. The Jews who? Don't question us, that's anti semitic."

"Reinventing Yourself http://dryinginside.blogspot.com/2012/10/reinventing-yourself-doesnt-always-work.html"

"How do you see countries neighboring Russia? Ukraine your neck."

"-Babe, I can't find the condom, what if we don't use it? -Sure, I'm ready to be a mother anyways. -No, no. Look, I found it!"

"I am going bananas. That's what I say to my bananas before I leave in the morning."

"You know you're getting old when A fart throws out your back"

"How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheberg"

"Can you show me how to use the Internet? I'd better - otherwise you'll just go round and round in circles."

"What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights? A Sir conference."