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Joke of the Day

"Officer: ""didn't you know that sleeping in your car on the side of the road is illegal ?"" Me: ""yes I did officer. But this isn't my car"""

"Church basketball What do you call a group of nuns who's into basketball? Slam NUNk Who's their MVP? Stephen Mary"

"What's Helen Keller's favorite mouthwash? Jergen's lotion."

"Did you hear about the vampire at the circus? He went straight for the juggler"

"""Your password is weak"" You're the weak one And you'll never know love Or friendship And I feel sorry for you"

"8 yr old: mommy, why are you laying on the floor? Me: I just did 438 sit ups. 8: sounds legit. I've taught her well."

"What do you get when eating toast in bed? Un-crumb-fortable"

"What do you call a black man with a gun ? You call him ""sir""."

"""My grammar is terrible,"" I said untruthfully, as I lied on the bed."

"BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump does not accept presidential election... Says he doesn't want to move into an estate which previously had black tenants."