199090
Joke of the Day
"I'm writing a theatrical work on puns It's a play on words."
Next Joke
"""Hey, mate, rumors have it that you won a car in a lottery, wanna hang out sometimes?"" ""Yeah, it's mostly true, except it was a house, not a car. And poker, not lottery. And lost, not won""."
"[at the pet store] Me: I'd like a baby lizard please [later at home] Me: isn't he cute? Wife [heavily pregnant]: I said a baby monitor"
"You hear the one about the sexually adventurous Eskimo? You name it, he was Inuit!"
"I was in the supermarket today and the cashier asked the foreign couple in front of me if they needed help packing their bags Fuck me, we only voted out yesterday give them a chance"
"Romantic comedies are just horror movies where people only die on the inside. Also, my wife doesn't let me pick movies for date night."
"A Man Walks Into A Bar The other one ducks"
"It is said the population of sheep in New Zealand is 60 Million. How did they stay awake to figure THAT one out?"
"What is a condom with a hole? Kinder Surprise"
"ME: I used to lay in the dark and invite spirits to inhabit my body. HER: Did they? ME: [levitates, engulfed in flames] WHAT DO YOU THINK?"