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Joke of the Day

"A woman entered a psychiatrist's consulting room leadind a kangaroo.""I'm worried about my husband doctor "" she said. ""He keeps thinking he's a kangaroo! """

"Coworker: If you had to do it all over again, would you? Me: Yeah. Cw: You would? Why? Me: Because I know what the words ""had to"" means."

"Why are women called bitches? Because they both run after sticks and balls."

"Who do you think the scariest POTUS was? I'd have to say Rushmore, considering he had four heads."

"I just found out diarrhea is genetic... It runs in your genes."

"The Vatican has dispelled rumors that the Pope is resigning because he's a pedophile. They claim he just got a little behind at work."

"I'd say Blair Walsh is kicking himself right now... But he was probably wide to the left."

"I was bit by a radio active spider so now I wear a rubber suit, swing around like a monkey and use karate, you know, like a spider."

"I asked a grocery store clerk to help me find the vodka Turns out he was my spirit guide."

"Marry Christmas Fuck New Year's Eve Kill Easter"