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Joke of the Day

"A guy picks up a prostitute After they're done she says: I feel so loved. You fuck like a god! As they start smoking a cigarette in bed she asks: By the way, why do you have holes in your hands."

"There was once a zoo that only had one animal: a dog. It was a pretty Shitzu."

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile Which is a pretty big word for a 9 year old"

"How do you confuse an idiot? Give him two spades and ask him to take his pick."

"Cop: You know why I pulled you over? Me: Seriously? You forgot already??"

"*someone hands me a baby* Oh... no thank you *places baby on the ground*"

"Why would Louis and Clark adore living in todays age? Because the difficulty in finding the North-West passage significantly declined once we discovered it was Kim Kardashian's vagina."

"How do you kill Donald Trump? You gotta guess for this one hint: it's in the name? It's a TRUMPet"

"My partner left me because of my pasta feeling fetish I'm feeling cannelloni right now..."

"One burrito looks at another burrito and says, ""you wanna fight?"" The second burrito says, ""nah"". The first burrito says, ""What are you, chicken?"""