229704

Joke of the Day

"Friends and family are like butt cheeks... Shit seperates them but, they always come back together in the end."

"Two guys walk into a bar... you would think the second guy would duck."

"How to spot an Aussie 1. Shout 1 3 DOUBLE OH! 2 Wait till someone shouts ""6 TRIPLE 5 OOOHHHH 6"""

"*shaves 'I Dogs' into my chest hair for the Westminster Dog Show but just as I take my shirt off a car full of cats rolls up*"

"Life is like a box of chocolates, The good ones are always gone before I get there!"

"""Hey son, what has 4 legs and doesn't breathe?"" ""Haha you can't fool me again, dad. A chair!"" ""Not this time. Our dog died."""

"My mum made an accidental physics joke today. Me: What did you do today? Mum: Well, the builders that moved the garage came over and I paid them for their work done."

"Scientists at the Federal Helium Reserve indicate they're storing a billion cubic meters of helium gas. It's a lot funnier when they say it."

"So, there's a plane... So there's a plane. The plane crashes, and every single person dies. However, a man goes home and tells his wife about it. How is this possible? He wasn't single."

"Strange that the chimney tends to survive a house fire. as a cold reminder of where the fire should have been. -Jimeoin"