201642

Joke of the Day

"Strange that the chimney tends to survive a house fire. as a cold reminder of where the fire should have been. -Jimeoin"

"[at my funeral] So young, how did he die? He ran into oncoming traffic after walking past a group of adults saying the word ""bae"""

"Carl: Perfect weather tonight. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: Butterflies taste with their feet. Me: Fair enough."

"Start reading to your kids as early as possible. I start around 2:30 a.m."

"Why does Dr.Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died."

"So glad I don't subtweet like SOME PEOPLE."

"2 men are in the bathroom. One is seen running in, the other leaving. What are their nationalities? Russian and Finnish!"

"Chemistry Joke: What is ""Me""+""U""... A rare gathering."

"A friend of mine has just moved into his new house. I got him a radiator as a house warming present."

"Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid? They can't get eight cups of water into that little packet."