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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a rubber band Why don't you stretch yourself out on the couch there and tell me all about it!"

"Roses are expensive... Violets are gay... Poems are for pussies... Have a nice day..."

"Now matter how sad I get, the length of your skirt reassures me that everything will be OK."

"Why couldn't Adam stop Cain from killing his brother? Because he wasn't Abel."

"My wife is going sky diving and I'm truly terrified The last time something that large hit the ground the fucking dinosaurs died!"

"Did it ever occur to you that people with tear drop tattoos are just really sad?"

"Oxygen went on a date with potassium. It went OK."

"A pharmaceutical company in Canada is offering $47 billion to buy the company that makes Botox. People at Botox were pretty excited I mean, you should've seen the look that wasn't on their faces."

"Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life.... Avoiding them"

"Elvis My wee pet mouse elvis has died ! He got caught in a trap !"