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Joke of the Day

"How do you fit more pigs on your farm? Build a sty-scraper!"

"The wall clock at work seems to be stuck on half past f*ck this sh*t o' clock."

"Why the musician sold his computer... Not enough gigs."

"I don't think it's correct to call them grammar Nazis anymore... They seem to prefer the label ""alt-write"" nowadays."

"Did you hear about the strawberry jam and grape jelly hooking up? They got marmalaid"

"Be wary about dating a female that pronounces the letter H silent Especially when she tells you that all she wants is happiness."

"My gang hand signals look a lot like the finger in the hole motion, followed by the call me gesture."

"So far, I've gotten away with passing as an adult again today."

"Patron: Hey there's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Why are you complaining? Isn't it cooked?"

"Can I integrate myself with respect to you?"