160129

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a green polo shirt? Collared greens"

"Do they really need to add 'Alive' to 'Sexiest Man' or am I grossly underestimating the number of necrophiliacs in the world?"

"[Frugal] I ran behind a bus all the way home and save $2.25. Got home and girlfriend mocked me saying had I run behind a cab, I would have saved $15."

"I was watching CSI and they found some semen in a woman's ear I guess she heard the killer coming"

"gonna name my first born Horse_ebooks"

"I have a heroine addiction... ...because I can only sleep with a girl if she has saved somebody's life."

"I like for my resolutions to be attainable so this year I resolve that I will neither become the pope nor will I become a cannibal."

"Lesbians why do lesbians go to sports authority becuase they dont like dicks"

"Why couldn't the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck!"

"There is no I in Team, but there's always one big A... if you know what I mean."