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Joke of the Day

"I just want to be one of those dads who runs on the field & tackles an opposing 6 year old"

"What do you call a gangster Hobbit? Yolo Swaggins"

"There are two types of people in the world: 1) Those that can be arsed to finish their jokes."

"Bigger Breasts Wife: ""How can I make my breasts bigger?"" Husband: ""Just rub toilet paper between them"" Wife: ""Why would that work?"" Husband: ""It worked on your butt"""

"The town I'm in has chickens roaming around freely. I hear that our dog went chasing one a while ago, but nobody can tell me the date. I don't know when she ran a fowl."

"I Opened A Shelter Called ""Tempura House"" It's for lightly battered women."

"Every KFC meal comes with a large side of regret."

"whenever i trip a skinny girl running in only a sports bra i feel like i'm doing god's work"

"It Only Gets Worse As An Adult, Charlie Brown"

"My city has been putting in tons of toll booths. Yesterday I had to pay ten cents before they'd let me pass through an intersection! At least I was able to turn on a dime."