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Joke of the Day

"I just want to be one of those dads who runs on the field & tackles an opposing 6 year old"

"How many mods does it take to screw in a light bulb? [removed]"

"Goddammit, my parole officer says none of my RTs count towards community service. This has been a huge waste of time."

"What do you call a root beer in a square glass? Beer"

"....and that's how I ended up laying on the bedroom floor with a potato stuck in my ass."

"Did you hear about that proctologist who became an English teacher? Did you hear about the proctologist who became and English teacher? He specializes in teaching analogies."

"How do you make a tissue dance? you put a little boogie in it"

"The only thing a woman wants jumping out of a cake is another cake."

"Not only is my new thesaurus terrible, But it's also terrible."

"Why did the scientist take off his doorbell? ...because he wanted to win the ""Nobel"" prize!"