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Joke of the Day
"There are two types of people in the world: 1) Those that can be arsed to finish their jokes."
Next Joke
"First boy: My dad saw a horrible witch and didn't turn a hair! Second boy: I'm not surprised - your dad's bald!"
"[1st date] HER: do you like charades? MIME: [thumbs up] HER: well? MIME: [nodding 'yes'] HER: hello? MIME: [shooting self with finger gun]"
"The cool thing about Cake Boss cakes is how everything is edible and has been touched all over and breathed upon for hours."
"Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great service but no atmosphere."
"How many syllables does the word ""Gloria"" have? CATHOLICS: 18"
"""I just can't control myself around you"" - Me talking to a homemade batch of cookies"
"Tell your mom to stop using different colored lipstick... My dick is starting to look like a rainbow"
"What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth."
"When God closes a door, it usually has my fingers in it."