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Joke of the Day

"I've started an elimination diet, It's where I eliminate anyone from my life who talks about their diet."

"ARTIST: I'd like your opinion on my painting. CRITIC: It's worthless. ARTIST: I know, but I'd like it anyway."

"Which trees have the most friends? The poplar ones."

"I wonder if anyone being chased by a bear has ever tried just turning around and saying in a really stern voice ""NO...Bad Bear""?"

"Breaking news: Cheese Factory Explosion De brie everywhere."

"A kiss so passionate you have first degree burns from the melted cheese on the pizza."

"What kind of papers do dogs write? A ruff draft."

"Feminists are basically Lesbians who don't want to admit it."

"In the beginning ... God created the world, and rested. Then God created man, and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested."

"What they're actually saying is ""I can't even [finish this sentence due to the complexities of being a white girl on the existential level]"""