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Joke of the Day

"A dog is ironing shirts and cursing under it's breath: ""What a fool I was! Bring me the slippers, my ass!""."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Ground fine and stored in the freezer to maximize the freshness. Oh man this is awful. Don't kill me."

"What's the difference between a terrorist and a civilian? I don't know man, I just fly the drones."

"Whats better then a gold medal in the special Olympics? Not being retarded."

"You know those voices in your head? Choose the smartest, sanest one and call it you."

"What's it like never being flaccid? Hard."

"If bad Russian puns were worth a Nikolai would be rich."

"I'm here to write an article about procrastination Actually I'll do it later remind me"

"Topical! What does a Japanese man do when there's an erection? He votes!"

"What's the difference between a brick and an MRA? Bricks get laid."