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Joke of the Day

"I lost both my hands in a car crash... But there is a silver lining somewhere. I just can't put my finger on it."

Next Joke
 
"I have had sex with so many other men this week I can't keep em all straight"
"What's the definition of a redneck virgin? A 7 year-old girl who can run faster than her brothers."
"A man goes to a Greek tailor... The tailor says, ""Euripides?"" The man says, ""Eumenides."" Credit goes to my University professor who specializes in Greek literature."
"What do you have when you get 32 rednecks in a line? A full set of teeth"
"What's the difference between a circus and a whore house? My dad didn't meet my mom at a circus or take me their when I turned 5"
"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion He was outstanding in his field."
"Say what you want about cargo pants but no woman has ever turned down a guy who can carry 7 puppies at once"
"Getting colagen injections in my lips next week 'cause, you know, 'tis the season to be Jolie."
"My life is like Monopoly: sometimes I'm the racecar, sometimes I'm the iron. But usually I'm a peanut because I've lost all the game pieces."
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