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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a circus and a whore house? My dad didn't meet my mom at a circus or take me their when I turned 5"

"I like my women like I like my Twinkies.. Cream-filled"

"It's about time we, as a sophisticated society, start getting birds to wear diapers."

"New friend: want 2 go tanning w/me tmrw? Me: ok. sounds fun. idk where 2 get cowhides. do u?"

"The police arrested a prostitute in my neighborhood. She was so startled. I guess you could say she was caught with her pants down"

"How did Helen Keller break her arm? You try reading a stop sign at 60 miles an hour."

"[front of card] No one will find your body [open card] as attractive as I do [back of card] lying at the bottom of an abandoned mine shaft"

"Why did Ted Cruz's father assassinate JFK? To get to the other side!"

"So they say 71 percent of tweets go unread. But I bet you all are reading this one. Cause this one's got Velociraptors. And they're awesome."

"What kind of headphones did Chris Brown get Rihanna for her birthday? Beats"