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Joke of the Day

"Why did the man get excited when he had sex with a pregnant woman? He could tell all his friends he had a threesome!"

"During a zombie apocalypse, establish dominance by approaching the baddest zombie with the snappiest teeth and braid his hair."

"How do kids from chernobyl count to a 100? On their fingers"

"Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere."

"Some young women are like bottles of wine They need to be tended to carefully and given time to mature, which is why I keep a few in my cellar."

"[Offensive] How do you offend homeless people? By telling them knock knock jokes!"

"What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died? Well I'll be damned!"

"*Obama approaches podium* Fellow Americans, I like cookies with raisins in them *press starts booing* They're good & healthy *Michelle nods*"

"What were the favorite Linux text editors of 8 randomly selected Monty Python fans? vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, emacs, and vim."

"Had a trip to the Docs I went to the doctors with hearing problems. He said ""Can u describe the symptoms?"" I said ""Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair"""