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Joke of the Day

"How many communists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One guy to screw in the light bulb, and the other guy to shoot him if he doesn't do it right."

"Cop: Do you have any drugs in the car? Me: Absolutely not. Trust me, I've looked."

"What did one snail say to the other? Nothing. They were both decoys."

"100$ Bill 1st: Why are you late? 2nd: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. 1st: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? 2nd: No, I was standing on it."

"Did you hear about the cannibal who cloned himself to see what he would taste like? It made him shit himself."

"What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Their last hit was the wall."

"*turns on shower* *gets undressed* *checks TL real quick* *floods the entire neighborhood*"

"How did Hitler sneeze? ""A jew!"""

"Why i love redheads? Because if roof is rusty it's always wet in basement."

"Publisher: Mike we can't accept your children's book. It's far too stupid for even the stupidest child. me: It was supposed to be for adults"