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Joke of the Day

"Cop: Do you have any drugs in the car? Me: Absolutely not. Trust me, I've looked."

"What does Light Yagami drink at the bar? Tekira!"

"Sorry I'm late... I was at the hospital *cough* my boyfriend has tuberculosis."

"I saw a guy at the beach yelling ' Help! Shark! Help!' I just laughed at him... I knew that shark wasn't going to help him."

"I took two years of anger management courses Now I'm the manager of four brand new anger stores"

"Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? She knows she's given her last blow job."

"My Dad started singing these to me last night. Thought Reddit might appreciate them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmqP25iALtU"

"What two words have the most letters? Post office."

"Dog walking is by far the easiest job I've done.. It was a walk in the park"

"When does CPR become Necrophlia? When tongue is involved."