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Joke of the Day

"Been playing hide n' seek with my niece and nephew for the last three hours. I guess I should get off twitter and go and look for them now."

"If I was on death row I'd request my own heart as my last meal. But they wouldn't be able to extract it til they killed me: Catch 22. I walk"

"I've been reading this great book on anti-gravity. I can't put it down."

"I went to a pot bar in Colorado this post weekend It was really a seedy joint."

"How come you never see black people on ships? They aint falling for that shit again."

"What do you call it when a shepherd can't find his ram? Memory loss."

"Why is it warmer near the corners of a room? Cause they're at 90 degrees."

"Ex: Do you ever think of someone else when we have sex? Me: No, it's always George Clooney."

"There will only be 7 planets left... After I destroy Uranus."

"what do you call a chinese millionaire? Cha Ching"