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Joke of the Day

"Hey, Gandalf! What is it that bats can do but badgers can't? FLY, YOU FOOLS!"

"Honeymooners (II) Her friend asked how the honeymoon went. ""OK,"" she said. ""Though Niagara Falls wasn't as big as I hoped, either."""

"Where do black parents get gifts for their children? At Toys We Is"

"Do you know who REALLY gets irony? Skydiving schools. Cuz you gotta drop out to graduate! *releases mic to float down on tiny parachute*"

"I've come to the realisation that I am a hipster. Well, that solved itself."

"I like to take my girlfriend to restaurants so she can complain I call it ""whining and dining"""

"Accountant after reading nursery rhymes to his young child: ""No son. When Little Bo Peep lost her sheep that wouldn't be tax deductible but I like your thinking""."

"Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you? Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!"

"Dear all bands: Not everyone in the band has to have a beard. Start with the drummer and if you still suck, just add beards as needed."

"I came back from war to find out that I had missed the birth of my wife's second child. Turns out, I also missed the conception."