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Joke of the Day

"I like to take my girlfriend to restaurants so she can complain I call it ""whining and dining"""

"I want to start body building. I just need to find out where hospitals put the cadavers."

"Why is Mike Pence magic? He can turn fruits to vegetables"

"What do you get ...when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?"

"r/Jokes Do you know any jokes told in the first person? I always enjoy a good joke told as if it actually happened to the person telling it. Know any good ones?"

"Just hired a dirtying lady. About to watch her and my cleaning lady fight it out."

"I'm not saying she's a whore... But if you threw her out a window she'd be deep penetrated[.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defenestration)"

"Well, it's Feb 6th 2012 and there's no meat flavored cigarettes. I guess that book of predictions I made in 5th grade was bullshit."

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can always unscrew a light bulb."

"Saw my neighbour scrubbing some graffiti saying 'paedo' off his door this morning... I said ""What's been going on mate?"" He said ""Fucking kids!"""