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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leafs? Russel"
Next Joke
"So say some animals *were* injured in the making of a film. Is that listed in the credits or what? ""Bob hurt one bird. He's very sorry."""
"Yo mama is like an Arcade Machine ... put the quarters in the Pussy and play with the titties"
"Does anyone else's smart phone make periodic ringing noises?"
"Hanging out with fake, toxic people is like running a brothel for diseased cats. I don't do that shit anymore"
"I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night... I should have put it on aloha setting."
"I have a bumper sticker that says, ""honk if you think I'm sexy""... I just sit at green lights until I feel good about myself."
"Why did the cowboy adopt a Weiner dog? He wanted to get a long little doggy"
"I blamed being late for work on Rush Hour... The next day I blamed it on Rush Hour 2 (Original credit goes to @murrman5 on twitter)"
"I just got smiled at by a lovely cashier who has plenty of teeth, but clearly only brushes her favorites."