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Joke of the Day

"Does anyone else's smart phone make periodic ringing noises?"

"Dja hear about the LGBT who would only own a Dalmatian if its spots were bleached white? Bruella de Ville"

"A joke about mermaids and humans: If human pussy smells like fish, does mermaid pussy smell like human?"

"The ex just asked me how can one have a soulmate if one has no soul? Wonder which of us he was referring to?"

"I tried to write a song about a fajita.... But it turned into a wrap."

"Can someone tell me that Johnny go deeper joke from 15 years ago? I was in middle school and can't remember it completely."

"For some reason, I'm not in The Guinness Book of Records. Even though I was *definitely* the first person ever to touch my penis."

"The roundest Knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi."

"""i would like to propose a toast"" - slice of bread"

"Was shopping at Target the other day.... ...and thought...If a terrorist was gonna attack...This would be the perfect target"