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Joke of the Day

"When 2 people have sex it's called a twosome. When 3 people do it it's called a threesom I guess that's why they call me handsome... Edit: front page! Everyone hating on my joke can suck it"

"What the hell do you mean Buzzfeed isn't a reliable news source, it knew exactly what kind of pancake I'd be"

"""Selfie"" has come to mean any photo of a person. At this rate, it will be the only word in the English language in 2023, meaning everything."

"What are Starbucks two shipping options? Ground and federal expresso"

"I've got a new job putting make-up on turds It's pretty shit."

"What do you call a Russian wearing a head scarf, a balaclava and a helmet? Anything you want. He can't hear a thing."

"An alcoholic goes to the doctor.. The doctor diagnoses the man and says ""You have alcohol poisoning."" The man replies, ""I am going to find and KILL the person who poisoned my drinks!"""

"Eating Halloween candy and ignoring the doorbell. A little game I like to call fuck you I paid for it."

"What is green and has 4 wheels? Grass... I lied about the wheels"

"[stands up in church] Okay I'm starting to think some of this stuff isn't true you guys."