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Joke of the Day

"I have a bumper sticker that says, ""honk if you think I'm sexy""... I just sit at green lights until I feel good about myself."

"Why do they have sex ed and drivers ed on different days in Mexico? Because they need to give the donkey a break."

"Data's joke from Star Trek:TNG, please finish it: ""A monk a clone and a ferengi decided to go bowling together."""

"I didn't believe my friend when he told me who the Canadian Prime Minister was... turns out it was Trudeau."

"What do you call a dehydrated frenchman? Pierre"

"what's better than roses on your piano? tulips on your organ."

"I caught my girl cheating with my best friend on my new leather couch... Of course I yelled at him.. He's not allowed on the couch. (Made this one up this morning.. Still playing with the wording)"

"OBAMA: I want to close Gitmo GOP: no OBAMA: But you haven't even GOP: no OBAMA: ... GOP: no OBAMA: I'm resigning GOP: no OBAMA: haha gotcha"

"God, grant me the serenity to accept this stolen property, the courage to sell it on eBay, and the wisdom to not get caught."

"Spider-man never tweets via iPhone. He's a web kinda guy."