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Joke of the Day

"A friend wants me to try speed dating, but I'm not sure that finishing *even faster* is going to help me with the ladies"

"Saw a cow jump over a barbed wire fence today... It was udder destruction."

"What did the mexican fire chief call his 2 sons? Hose A and hose B (read it out loud)"

"Convincing my dog I really threw the ball is the closest I'll ever get to being a magician"

"Guy: Hey I want to be part of you girl. Girl: sorry, I already have an asshole!"

"Knock knock ""who's there?"" interrupting cow with alzheimer's disease ""interrupting cow with alzheimer's disease who?"" knock knock ""who's there?"" moooooooooo ::silence::"

"There is nothing more hypocritical than a Buddhist saying, ""YOLO"""

"Dear Fox News, So far, no news about foxes. Sincerely, Unimpressed"

"If someone with multiple personalities threatens to commit suicide... is it a hostage situation?"

"So Abraham Lincoln walks into a bar... ...and says, ""I'll have a shot."" Did I just make up a new lame joke, or has this been done before? I think I need to sleep."