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Joke of the Day

"My grandfather always used to tell me... you can lead a horse to water, but if you can teach him to fish, you need to lay off the fucking acid."

"My New Year's resolution is to stop telling Dad jokes, shouldn't be that hard, I never joke about my father."

"Why does Trump secretly want to lose the election? Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house, that's in a black neighborhood."

"how does jesus make coffee? hebrews it."

"What did Mike Tyson say to Vincent van Gogh?? You gonna eat that?"

"I don't know or care about anything, unless I'm currently reading, or have read in the past 3-5 minutes, a think piece on the subject."

"What do people say when they hear about the assassin from Wales? Welsh-hitman!"

"If a Danish Paraplegic ever attacks you.... Tell him to Lego"

"What is the worst joke you ever heard?"

"Why does the shortage of strip clubs in the middle east make ISIS so angry? Because there aren't enough ho stages."