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Joke of the Day

"Little Timmy... Little Timmy had a drink, But drink he will no more, For what he thought was H2O, Was H2SO4."

"My New Girlfriend Facebook asks what I'm thinking. Twitter asks what I'm doing. Google asks where I am. The internet has turned into my girlfriend."

"Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote? A: Got stuck in a trap chewed off three legs and was still stuck."

"A man has been found guilty of overusing commas, the judge warned him to expect a very long sentence"

"Hey gurl, are you an inaccurate answer? Because that is one-significant-figure"

"What did the cannibal make of the politician he just met? Pork and bologne sammiches."

"Why do giraffes have long necks? Because their feet stink."

"Obamacare? More like ""Obama? I don't care for that guy!!!"" Honk if you want poor people to die"

"My dad said I'm likeable. I think of myself more as a lion but whatever."

"Oh man what's it called when you keep doing the same thing over & over but keep getting the same result? Oh yeah, I'm a serial killer."