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Joke of the Day

"How do you get Dick from Richard? Buy him dinner first."

"Saw a guy on the side of the road with a ""will work for food"" sign. So I threw him a coconut."

"I know a lesbian couple who used to breed fighting roosters they were the only lesbian couple in the world who raised cocks"

"Got so drunk last week that I married a thermostat Talk about turning the heat up on a relationship."

"What mistake have you made when your wife comes in from the kitchen to yell at you? Made her chain too long."

"Got a pretty bad burn on my arm. I was putting a pie in the oven & my dad came up behind me & put a cigarette out on my arm."

"Why did the woman take her third aborted fetus to see the priest on Sunday? Half Life 3 Confirmed!"

"My sense of humor is so dark that my grandmother would have been very unhappy if my sister went on a date with it."

"If Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus was written today... The solar system would need more planets for the title."

"I'm going to carry on drinking, smoking, and having unprotected sex. Recent figures show that you are more likely to die in a plane crash."