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Joke of the Day

"Wife: ""Would you like to help me....?"" Translation: ""Do it or die."""

"That movie was so bad... ...only Helen Keller liked it."

"I just want to rub all over you........ ........with the front end of my car."

"I already regret my choice of Julliard to win the NCAA."

"I love telling dad jokes He laughs every time."

"I found a way that will get you naked in seconds It'll knock your socks off"

"WIFE: He makes everything into a wood pun ME: This couch has such great lumber support WIFE: See?? THERAPIST: Try to stop ME: Oakey dokey"

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field"

"What's the difference between premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction? One's pretty quick, the other's a quitty prick."

"For every woman with a curve, there are several men with angles."