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Joke of the Day

"Es cargo A snail was writing s on his car a boy sees him and asks ""Why are you writing s on your car"" the snail says ""So when people see me driving they'll say wow look at that Es cargo """

Next Joke
 
"Marvin Gaye's Last Day on Earth Marvin (holding present): Happy Birthday Dad!!! Dad: Marvin, if this is another tie, I'm gonna kill you."
"Why didn't anyone believe the transsexual's confession? It was a case of 'he said, she said'"
"Current adult status: Just got into a heated debate about whether or not Merida from Brave is a Disney princess. I won. She is not."
"""Ride or die"" seems a bit dramatic. I'm looking for a ""ride or maybe go our separate ways if things aren't working out."""
"Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up."
"What kind of bees produce milk? Boo-bees"
"ME: 3 Big Macs please. lol it's my cheat day CLERK: you ordered the same thing yesterday ME:[leans in] why don't u mind your own gd business"
"People judge public housing, but it's cheap and your neighbors sell you drugs so I'm not sure I see the problem..."
"Any question can be a rhetorical question if you walk away fast enough."