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Joke of the Day

"My friend called the movie Pixels the world's longest abortion Funny, I didn't realize it was a porno."

"Why do Black People only have Nightmares? Cuz we killed the only one with a dream!!! (I'm very sorry, he was a great man whose death should be treated with respect) Happy MLK Day!"

"I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me; mistakenly as it were because I have the nerves of a guinea pig and puke when I cry."

"If you see your friend Jack on the plane... Don't say hi. Especially if his last name is King."

"I don't know why they call it the Oedipus Complex. Banging your mom seems fairly simple."

"I love Honest Abe. Do you want to hear my favourite quote from him? ""My head hurts."""

"How to tell if a programmer is gay. C : ENTER : ### / Edit: Nifty Code Formatting"

"Enrique Iglesias wants to 1. Be your hero 2. Kiss away your pain 3. Stand by you forever Enrique Iglesias is your mother"

"What's the difference between your dick and your money? I can find a lot of girls that'll blow your money."

"I'm a masochist. I downvote myself."