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Joke of the Day

"Marvin Gaye's Last Day on Earth Marvin (holding present): Happy Birthday Dad!!! Dad: Marvin, if this is another tie, I'm gonna kill you."

"Have you guys heard about the pedophile terrorist? Just last week he exploded all over a kids face."

"What does a dyslexic klan member hate? Gingers"

"How do you get everyone in a chemistry department to kill themselves? Get them to unionize"

"A study conducted by a group of scientists shows that women that have more than 25% body fat live longer than the men who mention it to them"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? The person jogging had a Mc chicken in hand."

"I want to die in my sleep, like my grandpa did. and not screaming like the passengers in the backseat."

"If I ever need to ask for directions, I will find an Asian person, because who better to help me get Oriented?"

"""I am John Lennon"" - the Walrus"

"Husband: You're like homework Wife: Why? Are you gonna throw me on the table and do me all day? Husband: No, leave you alone and masturbate."