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Joke of the Day

"Flying today and asking myself a question I used to save for first dates: Should I let them see me naked or just feel me up?"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... I don't fucking like coffee."

"How does loose leaf watch TV? Paper-view"

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A mega sore ass."

"Having sex in a mental hospital Now that's fucking insane."

"I'm always good at figuring out who dies first in a movie but sometimes directors fuck with me by casting too many black people..."

"People go to the bar hoping for two things...to get hammered or to get nailed."

"Attributed to Mr Rogers... ...supposedly told by him to a FOAF on his first day on the job as a cameraman on Mr Rogers Neighborhood. Knock knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? No, fuck WHOM."

"I went on one of those once in a lifetime holidays last week... I won't be doing that again. joke by Tim Vine"

"INTERVIEWER: do u have any weaknesses VIDEO GAME BOSS: [strugling to cover glowing weak spots all over body] UM"