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Joke of the Day
"Why do women live longer than men? They're not married to women."
Next Joke
"What do you call a water fowl looking in a window? Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)"
"Every time you talk to your wife, you should remember that 'This conversation will be recorded for quality and training purposes.'"
"A man is knocked out during a robbery.His wife and children are brutally murdered- Pixar: Gee it's kinda dark ...Ok a FISH is- Pix: YES."
"I love when I leave work early to surprise my wife at home and she greets me with those three very special words... ""Were you fired?"""
"""Dad, I want to be a feminist when I grow up."" Dad: ""Well choose one honey, you can't do both""."
"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them."
"Bought an ice cream cake and the cashier told me to keep it in the freezer until serving as it will melt. I gotta start dressing smarter."
"I was going to make a terrific joke about a bank... ..but then I lost interest."
"DOCTOR: I'm afraid I've got bad news ME: *pulls an apple from pocket* DOCTOR: *sweating* GOOD NEWS, I MEANT GOOD NEWS"