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Joke of the Day

"A man is knocked out during a robbery.His wife and children are brutally murdered- Pixar: Gee it's kinda dark ...Ok a FISH is- Pix: YES."

"Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet? To remind them why there's no money in it"

"Want to hear a joke? . . . The WNBA! Want to hear another? Women's Rights"

"What's the difference between seal hunters and teenagers? There's none, both like clubbing."

"Did Pinocchio catch fire when he masturbated?"

"American beer is like having sex in a canoe It's fucking close to water (Heard from Monty Python)"

"The best way to refuse a credit card telemarketer is to tell them you're unemployed. Guarantees them hanging up within seconds."

"Cop: Know why I stopped u? ""Cuz im going too fast?"" Cop: Yes, slow down. ""But it's been 6 months-"" Cop: U can't move in with her yet."

"Stole a bunch of extra long q-tips from the doctor. Who wants to party?"

"What happened when a whore house caught on fire? Some came out running, others ran out coming."