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Joke of the Day
"Ever since I became a vampire I've been too ashamed to even look at myself in the mirror"
Next Joke
"Knock, knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? You said you would never forget!"
"The museum curator was able to identify the slutty violin... ...it was a Straddlevarious :("
"In Photoshop, is there any way to make it look like I'm not dead inside?"
"Chess Set ""I'd like to buy this chess set please"" ""How will you be paying, sir?"" ""Check mate"".."
"""Saw the trailer for that new movie The Revenant, looks itense"". ""Nah, Probly tipis""."
"Eight dwarves are in a tub, feeling happy Happy got out now they're all fucking grumpy Edit: seven dwarves, sorry"
"It's like my Mom always said FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW:"
"*wife phones* ""Hi!"" ""Hi! Did you clean the house?"" ""Uhh...YUP!"" ""OK, I'm coming home. Need anything?"" ""Yes, about 2 hours."""
"What does a black man do after sex? 15 to life"