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Joke of the Day
"The museum curator was able to identify the slutty violin... ...it was a Straddlevarious :("
Next Joke
"What is it called when you ride around on a horse asking people questions? A gallop poll."
"Where do hipsters buy their clothes? Most likely a thrift store or Urban Outfitters, TBH."
"You agree to sound convincing when you lie about changing and I agree to believe you. Formalities over, let's get this relationship started."
"Dating blacks girls is a plus because you don't have to meet their fathers"
"Did you know that Ang Lee made Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon five years before he made Brokeback Mountain? Yeah, working title for the latter film was Crouching Cowboy, Hidden Sausage."
"I drink, therefore I am.... Drunk."
"How do you define a farmer? Someone that's outstanding in their field."
"If I had a dollar for every time Donald Trump denied something... Then I too would have a small loan of 1 million dollars"
"The story of a heroic husband .... Wife to her husband - How do I look? I just came back from the beauty salon.... Husband - Well. Was it closed?"