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Joke of the Day

"I didn't worry much when my parachute didn't open I didn't understand the gravity of the situation"

"Do you know why every new bride smiles? Because she just gave her last blow job."

"Amputees will not find this joke funny: Actually, I'm going to cut this joke short."

"Why be fake when being real takes no effort at all?"

"Did you hear about the owl coup? They were in cahoots."

"Why couldn't the pregnent women watch all of the Harry Potter movies? Because they lactate."

"*shipwrecked diary* Day 1: alone, doing well. Mentally sound. Met a crab Day 2: crab seems untrustworthy Day 3: CRA B LEAR N ING TO WRI TE"

"[On The Cross] Jesus:""Father, forgive them, fore they know no-"" Voice from the crowd:""DO THE WINE TRICK"""

"The size of penis doesn't correlate to the number of sex one will have Proof: the two largest populations in this world: China and India."

"My car is equipped with the best anti-theft device in Florida. I call it ""No air conditioning""."