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Joke of the Day

"My car is equipped with the best anti-theft device in Florida. I call it ""No air conditioning""."

"Numbers don't lie but they don't tell the truth either. They're NUMBERS."

"What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny."

"Doctor, does being obese impede my chances off a normal sex life? No, but it does add weight to the problem."

"Why can't Bernie Sanders win the election? Because 12 year olds can't vote. Edit: I'm actually somewhat of a Bernie supporter, I'm just joking about how he has a lot of youth backing him."

"People are like snowflakes. If you piss on them they go away."

"My friend told me a joke about a clock last week and today I finally got it... It's about time."

"I think I'll tell my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage."

"What's Whitney Houston's favourite type of co-ordination? HAND-EYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!"

"Knock Knock Who's there? Aren't you glad I didn't say banana?"